I’m a big believer in preemptive strikes and attacks; if violence is inevitable, it is better to be the one who acts first, rather than being the one who responds. In most altercations I’ve been in, witnessed, or been told about, I would guess that in 8 out of 10 cases, it was the person who attacked first who was successful. In this blog article, I want to talk about why preemptive striking is so effective, and why most people are reluctant to engage in it.
An important thing to remember about the majority of violent situations, is that they are normally preceded by some form of verbal exchange (often referred to as an “interview”). This is something that should be introduced into all types of reality based self-defense training. Whilst it is important to train ambush and sneak attacks etc. such as rear strangle and other such attacks, we must acknowledge in the majority of cases, these either happen in the midst of a fight by a third party or when you are talking/dealing with a friend/accomplice in front of you – there are also other specific situations when surprise attacks occur, however most assaults are launched after an aggressive verbal barrage, or after a predatory individual has used some form of grooming process to get their victim to comply with their demands. To train realistically, and for reality, we need to practice dealing with individuals in front of us, who are either engaging us in conversation, or shouting, screaming at us etc.
We tend to think that other people are like us; that they can be reasoned with, don’t want to hurt others, and see violence as a last resort. Whilst I wish was the case, there are many people out there who don’t think like that, who believe they are entitled to act aggressively/violently, that violence is often a more effective way to get what they want than trying to reason with somebody etc. This is especially true of somebody who is highly emotional and adrenalized – reason left the building a long time ago. Accepting that the person who we are dealing with has decided that acting violently towards us is justified and acceptable, we must get ourselves to that same mental space immediately. Too many people hesitate to do this hoping that there is still a chance of de-escalating the situation, or that they’ve judged the person incorrectly, and they aren’t actually getting ready to assault them etc. Denial is a very strong emotional/mental state that prevents us from being decisive. Denial, tells us that we’re not experiencing pain “now”, and that we shouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that. If you believe you are dealing with someone who is intent on causing you harm, there really is only one direction, in which you should head: attack first.
Many people worry about the legal consequences of being the one who throws the first strike. I’m not a lawyer or an attorney, however one thing I do know about the legalities of a violent confrontation is that the aggressor who is planning to attack you, isn’t thinking too much about the legal consequences of what they’re planning to do – because if they were they wouldn’t do it. To get caught up in all the reasons why you shouldn’t do something e.g. is it legally acceptable, morally acceptable is to fill your mind with peripheral doubts that will cripple you into a state where you are too scared and confused to do anything. One thing that all aggressors have is decisiveness, they are prepared and ready to act. If you are not, it is likely that you will be found wanting when the assault starts. Most legal systems allow you to make preemptive strikes, as long as you can justify why you felt it was necessary to do so; this comes down to your ability, or rather your lawyer/attorney’s ability to tell the story of what actually lead you to take the decision to strike/attack first. Understanding some of the warning signals, that people give off will not only help you tell that story but indicate when you should strike preemptively.
There are many, many cues that indicate when somebody is about to attack, however many of them are so subtle that it is almost impossible to pick up on them e.g. when a person becomes adrenalized and ready for conflict, blood will be drawn away from the skin, and the internal organs, in order to oxygenate the larger muscles that will be used in fight/flight, this means that a person’s complexion will lighten. Recognizing this change is almost impossible, especially if you are in dimly lit place, such as a bar or club etc. The easiest way I have found to judge a person’s readiness to attack, is from their speech. There are three things that I have found people usually do in conversation before they attack. The first is going silent. If a person is screaming and shouting and then stops and goes quiet for a few seconds I would be looking to act in that silence. If they jumble up their words as they speak, I know it is time to either back completely away, or make a preemptive assault. The last of the three is something I refer to as repetitive looping. This is where an aggressor simply keeps repeating whatever injustice they believe they have experienced, increasing both the volume and the rate at which they are speaking. This is one of the reasons I ask questions when I am dealing with aggressive individuals as it gives me a chance to understand from the way(s) they respond whether they are getting ready to fight, which will prompt me to act preemptively (or disengage – fight or flight)
We may have been conditioned through childhood to not be the kid who threw the first punch. However that was by our parents and teachers who were trying to teach us to resolve our petty disputes and squabbles with words, rather than by physical force. As adults we need to recognize that there are certain situation where the only resolution open to us is violence, and where words and reason aren’t appropriate. If violence is inevitable, we should be the ones striking first, rather than presenting our aggressor with the opportunity to make an assault.